Milo originally came out of the house carrying a meat tenderizer, the potato masher, and a porcelain plate. What could possibly go wrong with that combo? I told him to trade the plate for a frisbee, then the only consequence was a mess. My socks picked up a fragrant sticky yellow residue from the patio after that.

“Mom’s taking a photo, it’s my cue to make a stupid face!” They’re listening to a read aloud book on Epic, a kid reading app that’s been a real boon during this lockdown.