Lock-down to-do list, day 16:

Watch ants. They have infiltrated our kitchen from the bay window overlooking the garden, and my puny attempts at blocking up chinks in the brickwork with hot glue and poisoning their scouts with bait have been futile.

Wipe kitchen counters. 17x. Repeat tonight, tomorrow, and the next day.

Regulate family member brownie consumption. About as futile as stemming the ant onslaught. Possibly crumbs and ants are correlated….

Break up Monopoly Deal fist fights.

Observe the cat. While she’s sleeping. Come to think of it, our lives right now are much like that of our pet cat, and she seems pretty content with her lot, even though she can’t decide what side of the door she wants to be on.

Turn off the kids’ wifi and invite them to play ball at the park (“I will give you neither food nor drink NOR WIFI until you go on an outing with me.”)

Glue bits of toddler-painted paper to other pieces of paper, for hours on end. Vacuum up the confetti afterwards. Tell Jeremiah that it’s art.

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